October 2006

Today was one of those perfect fall days here in Chicago. It’s been rainy and cold for a few weeks now but today was one of those perfect fall days… leaves on the ground, clear blue skies, and a crisp 55 degrees. These days remind me why I love fall. So to honor the beautiful day I pulled out my bike. It was sad seeing it inside all these cold rainy weeks, and a perfect fall day called for some biking.

On Mondays I have a night class, theology, from 6:30-9:30 (fun, right?). Even though it was dark by 5:15 I have bike lights so I decided to get all the biking I could out of the day and biked to class. This week theology ended early and I went out to my bike after class only to find that my back blinky light (see the picture below) had been snapped off. My first reaction? Anger of course. I was mad! Sure it only cost $10 or $15, but it was my blinky light! I looked over my bike and was glad to see everything else was still there but I was still angry about that light. It was tightly screwed on so they just snapped the bracket in half to take it away.

I tried to tell myself it was only a light. I tried to remind myself that God has given me a job and that I can replace the light whenever I wanted. I tried to remind myself that it wasn’t worth getting angry about…. but guess what? I was still angry.

Forgiveness is such a messy thing. Tonight, like so many other small occurrences, reminded me that my forgiveness is often conditional. It is so much easier to forgive someone you love. It’s so much easier to forgive someone for their wrong acts done out of personal weakness. It’s so much easier to forgive someone when you have been there yourself. But tonight it took awhile for me to let it go because it was a purely stupid harmful act. Someone is now walking around with a blinky light that they cannot use for anything. The bracket was snapped in half so unless they intend to duct-tape it to their bike it is useless. It’s so hard to forgive someone when they hurt you out of pure spite or enjoyment.

A few weeks ago I read this article about the Amish school shootings. Their ability to forgive still astounds me. Here I am having trouble forgiving someone for stealing a $10 light and they are encouraging each other to forgive the man who shot their friend, their daughter, their granddaughter. It’s just a thing, it’s not a person, a loved one.

So tonight I’m praying… because I have a long way to go until I understand the type of forgiveness Jesus showed. The Amish seem to get it, but I’m still a long ways off…

Forgive, and your sins will be forgiven. -JC

But I’m still sad I’m missing it this year…

Town fears street party could become a monster mash

(you’d think CNN could come up with a better headline then that!)

I love to learn and that means I love to read (a great, but sometimes tedious, way to learn). So here are the top five things I want to learn more about right now. If you have any suggestions for how to learn more about these things let me know… and you should write a list of your own!

1) Cradle to Cradle Production
Mike and I went to the Museum of Contemporary Art in Chicago this past week and saw the Massive Change exhibit. One of the things the exhibit explored was the idea of Cradle to Cradle Production; it’s the idea that products can be made with very little or no raw materials by reusing other products or the waste of other manufacturing systems. One company’s waste may be another’s raw materials and companies can design products that can be disassembled when worn-out and reused by another company. We need to start learning how to re-use instead of stripping the earth of more resources each time we create a new product.

2) Jewish Culture in Biblical Times
The more I read and listen to Rob Bell the more I appreciate how his knowledge of Jewish Culture illuminates scripture. I want to learn more about the culture and practices so I can understand the bible better. Any book ideas?

3) Emerging Churches and Postmodernism
I have been reading books and blogs on emerging churchs and the postmodern movement but I want to keep learning more. Unfortunately there isn’t a lot out there on youth ministry in the postmodern age or how an emerging church would do youth ministry. Know anyone looking at youth ministry and emerging church other than Tony Jones?

4) The Criminal Justice System
Last weekend Mike and I went with our church to serve at a transitional correctional facility. It is a place where men from a State Prison can go to finish out their sentence and learn life skills. I realized I don’t know much about how our country’s correctional system works. What are at-risk communities doing to prevent people from ending up in prison? How affective is the correctional system in rehabilitating people? How do teens do once they leave the juvenile system?

5) Strategies to End Poverty in the Third World
What sustainable practices and programs are working to end poverty in the Third World? What are the biggest barriers right now to stopping poverty? Let me know if you have reading ideas.

Sunday morning I was at Mike’s parents’ house doing homework. We were going to Mike’s cousin’s wedding in a few hours and I was trying to squeeze in some homework. I got bored and decided to turn on the TV for a few minutes when I saw… Coral Ridge Ministries Hour. Within minutes I was up from the table and standing in front of the TV, arms crossed, and quite pissed off…. I simply couldn’t believe that what they were saying, in the name of Jesus. They were fundamentalist Christians, to say the least, and very conservative, and I am neither. But despite our opposing starting points, I would hope that I could agree with them at least partially because of our common faith… but I could not.

The preacher said, “85% of Americans claim to be Christians while only one percent claim to be atheist. Do you know what it is called when the one percent rules the other 99%? A tyranny. We need to take back this country and make it a Christian nation again.” WHAT?!? Ok, first off, 85% of this country is not truly trying to follow Christ or things would be a whole lot different. Secondly, this country was not founded as a Christian nation- most of our forefathers were deists! And even if all of our forefathers were devout Christians, as Christians we should not be striving to build a “Christian nation” but rather the Kingdom of God, which transcends all nations, nationalities, races, and boundaries. The idea that we should build a Christian nation is absolutely ludacris to me… and where the heck to you find that idea in the bible? I think that trying to build a Christian nation also puts Christians at war for power with the non-Christians of America, and that puts a serious road-block in building the Kingdom. Why are we fighting for political power when we already have the power of God? Why are we trying to take over the systems of the world instead of building the Kingdom of God that is far more powerful and transendent then any system in America? I believe Christians should vote, we can even get involved in politics, and I think it is necessary to be activists, but forget “building a Christian nation”- we have far greater goals.

After the motivational speech about re-building our Christian America. There was a Coral Ridge Ministries commercial… for a cruise. A CHRISTIAN CRUISE? WHAT?!? The cruise trip was called “America the Beautiful” and the ship cruises the Hawaiian Islands for a week on the “Pride of America” ship staffed completely by Americans and covered in American decor. How can we mix patriotism with Christianity like that? And a Christian cruise to see the beauty of our “God Blessed” nation- can’t Christians find better things to spend their money on- like perhaps ending poverty?

I could go on and on about how wrong I think ministries like Coral Ridge are… but other than becoming VERY frustrated and wanting to write some angry letters, what can I do? What do you do when you think another group of Christians is so incredibly wrong? Because they seem to think that they are right on track with fulfilling God’s will for America. And I completely disagree.

I have been wrestling with this. Jesus calls Christians to be united as he and the Father were united, and that means we need to get awfully close. But how do I do that when I think that other Christians are butchering the Gospel and following their own mission rather than God’s? Now we have me vs. them, and I know that we both think we are right. Do I drop my pride and accept that they may be correct, and therefore let them express their faith in the patriotic way they do? Or do I stand firm and oppose them because I think doing anything less would be allowing the message of Jesus to be mutilated?

I’m confused and I need help… and ask me questions if you don’t understand my dilemma… but how are Christians to be united? What am I supposed to do when I think another Christian is getting it wrong but they think they got it just right? And is it ever ok to think you have it at least partially right when it comes to God’s purpose or plan, or should I be tolerant to any other Christian interpretation- such as Coral Ridge’s?

Help!

These are advertisments for a “kids” line for a popular brand name. What are we selling these “kids”?

Teens spent $158 billion dollars last year. With different sources of income and very few responsibilities or living expenses teens are incredibly important in fueling consumerism. And since younger teens don’t have a strong sense of identity or values when it comes to how they spend their money it is easy to persuade them into consumeristic living. I find it sad that our capitalistic markets have targeted teens. Yes, you can make a lot of money off them, but is it right to sell them sex, popularity, and identity as you sell them that $50 sweater? And how do we raise up adolescents who are aware of how they are being targeted by marketing? Is it possible for teens to rise above the consumerism that surrounds them?

Standing around in Hollister and waiting in line gave me a lot of time to observe what was going on around me. Because I love working with teenagers so much I take a lot of interest in youth culture. What I saw was unbelievable. To me, Hollister was hell, but to many of the adolscents there, it was like Christmas morning- so many wonderful things and the money to buy them. What would drive teenagers to spend hours upon hours shopping at Hollister that Sunday, spending so much on clothes? What pulls so many teens to the malls? Was I really this bad when I was in 7th grade?

Blame society, parents, or consumerism (all which were clearly problems at Hollister), but we need to take a moment and look at the needs of adolescents and where they are being fulfilled. Adolescences is a time of identity forming. Students are trying to figure out who they are; often young teens identify themselves by what they do or which groups they belong to. A response to “who are you” and you may hear, “I’m in 7th grade, I play soccer and am on a club team, I’m the youngest of three kids, I go to youth group, I’m one of the popular kids at school, I like to hang out with my friends and watch Orlando Bloom movies….” Identity is being formed primarily externally because students, especially in middle school, think concretely. It will be a few years before they begin to define themselves by their viewpoints, values or goals in life.

So what need is Hollister fulfilling? Why are so many teens attracted to the mall? Yes, we live in a highly consumeristic culture, but I think many teens are shopping for an identity. Walk into any middle school or high school and you can see different groups by how they dress- the preps (Abercrombie), the skaters (Pac Sun), the goths (Hot Topic), the punk kids (forget the mall and go to a good trift store), the jocks (Champs, AE)… this may be simplifying youth culture a bit but you can’t deny that clothes often define groups of teens, and belonging to a group defines the teen themselves. So you find a 7th grade girl shopping at Hollister while wearing Hollister and talking to her friends about Hollister clothes… and all she is really trying to do is form an identity. She wants to fit in with her group of friends and be seen as popular, attractive, and preppy. If it were just about the clothes, well we all know you can probably find close to the same thing at Kohls for 55% off on any given day, but it won’t say “Hollister” across the front, and you probably don’t want to be defined by a clearance shirt from Kohls.

What do you think? Am I missing something? Or do you believe that adolescents often find identity in the clothes they buy and where they buy them?

Do you see a difference between how adults identify themselves through their clothes and teens? Do you think that adults try to portray an image of who they are while teens try to become someone by the way they dress? Or do you see that teens and adults have the same motivations in what they wear?
More to Come…

First, a quick update:
Last Sunday I started my new job at River Forest Pres in River Forest, a near-west suburb of Chicago. I’m am interning there for the next year and overseeing the Junior High ministry. The job is going to be a challenge, and I’ll get to that in upcoming posts, but I’m very excited about being involved in a youth ministry again and getting paid for it, which is only nice b/c it allows me to finally leave the coffeehouse!

I finally realized that I needed to retire my favorite pair of jeans. I hate shopping for jeans so when I find a pair that really fit, I wear them out… completely. Mike finally said that my favorite jeans had to go. There had been a hole in the right knee and in the back pocket for several months, they had a worn or “destroyed” look (as stores like to advertise), and in the past week they got a large hole in the other knee, in the inseam (as i’ll call it) and looked like they were about to break on the left thigh. Things were not looking good, or appropriate, for my jeans, so I had to give them up. As cooler weather moves in on Chicago, I knew I needed some jeans that weren’t quite so breezy anyways.

The only place I have bought jeans in the past few years is Hollister. I hate hate hate shopping for jeans (they are almost as bad as shopping for swimsuits) so I make things easier by going straight to Hollister. It is the only place I’ve found that makes a pair of jeans that fit me perfectly (and girls, you know how hard it is to find that perfect fit).
Early Sunday afternoon Mike and returned from church and my country-boy husband was restless and wanted to get out of the city. We decided to head out to the suburbs for a while on my way to work that evening. Now Mike and I hate the suburbs for many many reasons (I think we see them as a sign of all that is evil in this world… maybe i’ll blog about suburbs later) but we went there anyways. We decided this would be the perfect opportunity for me to get some new jeans for the winter, so we headed to the mall. I think the only thing I hate more than the suburbs is the mall… yuck… but all Hollisters are in the mall, so we went.

The mall parking lot looked like it was December 23rd but we eventually found a spot and headed inside. We braved the crowds, made it to Hollister, found a few styles of jeans in my size then found the dressing rooms… the line must have been 25 girls long. While standing in line with my pile of jeans I looked around. At 22 (and very close to 23!) I was definitely the oldest one there, minus some moms with their girls. A lot of the girls had huge piles of clothes and were already wearing a lot of Hollister. I finally made it into the dressing room, loved the first pair of jeans I tried on, and was done. Unfortunately I couldn’t get going that fast… there was another VERY long line for the five busy registers that snaked its way around the store. Half an hour later I finally had some good fitting jeans that weren’t covered with holes and vowed to purchase my next pair over the internet. Mike and I practically ran out of the mall once I was done… it was our personal hell.

To Be Continues… muah-ha-ha (that is supposed to be an evil laugh )

it’s a rainy morning here in Chicago… although i have already gone to one class today, i feel like i am still in my pj’s and have yet to wake up.

Last night i talked to my friend, several-year roommate, and maid-of-honor, Linds. She is in KY doing mission work in Appalachia for a year while i am here in Chicago. I’ve lived apart from Linds two summers and a semester during our four years as neighbors and roommates, and i finally realized last night that this is not like before… I’m not gone for just a semester or a summer this time.

I got off the phone with Linds late last night and just cried and cried. I haven’t cried nearly that hard since I moved back to Chicago. I think my bubble finally burst… I realized I left my old life behind and there is no going back and finding it again. I can keep the friendships across distance and time, I can visit the places I used to live, but the world I loved no longer exists.

My roommates are now scattered- Connecticut, Florida, Kentucky, Illinois, and Wisconsin. The six of us are spread across the country, two of us are married, and there is no hope of ever going back to the great days of sharing life together in 110 N. Brooks Apt. L or 2024 Kendall Apt 4… those places are still there, but they are no longer home.

So this rainy morning I am mourning the loss of a great life and family and relationships… we are now too scattered to share life the way we used to, and phone calls always seem to far between to really allow us to be part of each others’ lives. I miss it and i really hate this part of growing up…

What do you do when you miss a place that no longer exists?